So I went to my first boxing lesson. I loved it! My trainer told me I think too much. And guess what? He's absolutely right! Yessir. I'd like to think I don't but fact of the matter is, I care way too much about what other people think. I may pretend I don't but I do. And my goal for this year is to go about my life despite what other people think. That's partly why I started this blog. I also want a huge book + movie deal out of this... If that girl with the blog where she tells how she did all the recipes in Julia Child's cookbook can get a book and movie deal, I figure I can too. My life is somewhat as interesting as hers (I read her book so I can tell), I have things to say, wisdom to impart on my readers. By the way, do I have readers?
Anyway... I started this blog to chronicle my new decade's resolutions. And they are:
1) To start training again
2) To stop smoking pot
3) To work on my fuc*&?!% thesis
And why do I want to do all these things may you ask. I want to start training again to get in shape for an upcoming trip to Thailand I have planned with my boyfriend, his dad and his wife (the dad's wife, not my boyfriend's). I'm so out of shape, it's scary. I'm not supposed to do this to lose weight but quite frankly, I can't help but hope I do... But honestly, I'm mostly motivated by the trip because right now, I get out of breath just walking up a few stairs, I have trouble tying my shoes. I feel fat and very uncomfortable in my own skin and body. And it's not only a matter of physical appearance, it's mostly a matter of being physically uncomfortable with all these extra layers of fat. I feel like a prisoner in my own body. Gain a few hundred pounds and you'll understand how I feel!! But please don't. Gain a hundred pounds I mean. I would only wish this to a few people I really don't like.
As for the pot smoking thing, I want to stop because it's become really bad for me. I felt addicted. I notice that I'm using the present and past tenses to talk about this subject. And it's mostly the way I feel about it. I haven't smoked in a couple of weeks but I still feel hooked. I loved the way I felt when I was stoned. Like I was on top of the world and up to any challenge. But I realize that I was basically self-medicating and that I was stuck in a vicious circle where the pot made me feel like crap when I wasn't stone but I needed the pot to make me feel better temporarily. So there is no longer pot in the house and so I don't smoke pot anymore. I'm not saying I'll never smoke pot again in my life but for now, it's better for me that I stay away from it.
And finally, the thesis, well, if I don't work on my thesis, I'll never finish it and I so want to finish it asap because I'm sick of it!
Since I'm studying to become a psychologist, you'll see I'm not doing things halfway. Not only did I take new decade's resolutions but I operationalized the whole thing to improve my chances of success. I plan on doing some form of cardio 3 to 4 times a week either on the elliptical or by taking private boxing lessons and I'm doing strength training as well. And I need to work on my thesis Thursdays and Fridays.
So far, I've stuck to my training schedule pretty rigorously, I stopped smoking pot but the thesis part is not going as well. But it's at least a start! Also, I decided to take another resolution: I will act despite my pride and what other people might think.
That's all I have to say for today. I'll try to write as often as possible or at least when I have something to share.
