Yesterday, I realized that I feel much better since the surgery. And I don't just mean physically although I would be lying if I didn't admit that six weeks post-op, I'm already feeling much more comfortable physically. I noticed that my mood is better, so is my motivation, my energy level and my general attitude. I don't really know if it's a placebo effect or what and to be honest, I don't really care because the end result is that I'm so much more happy this way than I was before, that I'm just hoping that this shall we say euphoria lasts a loooooooooooooong time!
I also wanted to talk about what's been going through my mind these past few weeks. I know it's going to sound a bit paradoxical but it's true nonetheless. I'm noticing more and more that I'm losing weight be it by touching myself and feeling that my body is different, trying on clothes that are now too big or trying on clothes that were too small and now fitting into them, looking at myself in the mirror, being able to bend in ways that I couldn't anymore, or simply crossing my legs while sitting. But at the same time, I'm obsessing about not losing enough weight. Like the other day, we were at my BF's sister's house and there was a scale. I don't own a scale and refuse to get one at home, yet, I was still curious to see how much weight I had lost since my last weigh-in. I was now down to 283. So around 13 pounds lost since September 13 (nearly four weeks earlier). My initial reaction to the reading on the scale was "Is that all?!?" and I was a bit dumbfounded and very disappointed. Then, I started to do all sorts of maths in my head and I perked up again by trying to reason myself. I can't lose 30 pounds each month, it would be unrealistic and unhealthy. I had started to eat more "normally" again after being on a liquid diet with tiny portions for a month now. So of course my weight loss would diminish. Now, I'm at the point where I want my surgeon's opinion. I'm seeing him for my second follow-up on Monday and I'm sure he'll weigh me. I'm very curious to know where I'm at now and what he'll have to say about it. Of course, I'll keep you posted.
Other things that have been happening to me: my tastes are starting to change a bit I think. And the reason behind that would be that I can't eat the same things anymore because they're making me feel a bit sick. I'm guessing this is the infamous dumping syndrome. And since I know I'm going to feel queasy if I eat these foods, I'm more hesitant to eat them. I don't think I ever had a full fledged episode of dumping syndrome but the tiniest bit of it that I felt was more than enough to be very aversive, believe you me!! As for my eating habits, I can eat pretty much anything but I think that foods high in sugar/starch or other carbohydrates tend to make me feel a bit sick. So far, I've tried rice, couscous, pasta and bread and the only one that I was able to tolerate was pasta. The worst one was rice and bread also tend to be more difficult. Anyhow, my cravings have more to do with fresh fruits and vegetables and protein. So for dinner, we always have some type of protein (fish, chicken, cheese, etc.), a vegetable and a carb and more often than not, I eat the protein, the vegetable but leave the carb.
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